Why I don't play with myself.

I hate seeking. Although I have had some pretty good conversations while seeking, it still ultimitely feels like a waste of time. I often get asked why I don't just solo as Summoner.

I can tell you right now why I don't solo. I'm lazy. And scared. ...Aaand scared. I tried soloing once, two weeks ago, and it was most disastrous.

::flashback music::

After seeking for two hours (grumble) I decided to try to give soloing a chance. I was just high enough to get free Carbuncle, and figured it would be a good way to earn exp while waiting for an invite.

I headed over to Garliage Citadel to fight some bomb type mobs. I had never solo'd like this before, but I had read a guide online on how to do it. (Lies. Replace 'read' with 'thought about looking up.')

I didn't think it would be very difficult:
1 - Summon Carbuncle
2 - Make Carby fight Bomb
3 - Run away
4 - Bomb blows up
5 - Bathe in a tub of experience points

In reality, it was more like this:
1 - Get aggro
2 - Hastily summon Carbuncle
3 - Fail
4 - Summon Light Spirit
5 - Run to zone, crying the whole way there
6 - Repeat three fucking times.

After finally getting the hang of it, I was able to get to a safe spot, and begin my soloing adventure.

I sent Carbuncle in to attack a Bomb, and I sat back and watched. Carbuncle eventually died, and I sent in another one.

Blah blah, this happened until the Bomb-thing Self-Destructed. For some reason it didn't occur to me that I may have been too close for comfort.

Bomb-thing uses Self-Destruct
Carbuncle takes a lot of damage
Pasquale also takes a lot of damage

I'm not gonna lie to you, that killed me. Luckily I had reraise on. Unluckily, I did not see the beetle behind me.

I think you know what happened next.

Pasquale starts casting Cure II
Beetle sneaks up behind Pasquale
Beetle uses Spawn-Kill
Beetle defeats Pasquale, and walks away, triumphantly

Argh. After someone in my ls found me a raise, I was determined to succeed at least once before logging and killing myself.

I found another bomb mob and sent Carby in. I ran the fuck away and did it right. Eventually the bomb blew itself and Carbuncle up, and I got 70 exp for it. Woo.

My celebration was cut short when I got aggro'd by that same fucking beetle, who had been waiting in the shadows for me to put my guard down.

Needless to say, I didn't make it.

I changed my Search Comment to reflect my newer, higher 'tnl' and went looking for another bomb.

After sending Carby in and waiting a few min, I was worried something was wrong. Normally I would have recast Carbuncle by now, and have moved to a new spot. Foolishly, I decided to 'take a peek' around the corner to see what was happening.

Just as I got there, Carby died, and the very much undamaged Bomb was charging for me.

Balls.

I throw up a Light Spirit to hold hate and I make a bolt for the stairs, hoping to somehow make it to the zone.

As I approched the stairway to heaven, I was met with a familiar face.

That same fucking beetle.

I already had very little HP left, from the Bomb's first assault on my face, so the beetle made short work of me.

After going back to my HomePoint, I decided to log. I had spent the night losing more exp than I could count, and just wanted to go to bed.

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