This just in, I hate you.

I have been having connection problems lately and my FFXI experience has suffered because of it. The most recent of said suffering occurred a few days ago, while fighting Wajaom Tigers. (I'm pretty sure that's what they were called. I guess I could look it up, but meh. They were giant tiger-like beasts in Wajaom.)

The party was actually going really well. I was stuck at main heal, but our tank rocked hard so there wasn't much healing to do, aside from having to cast Paralyna on everyone every five seconds. (Seriously non-stop, I don't think any of my Avatars saw the light of day.) (Damn tigers.)

Experience points were literally raining down on us as we blew through tiger after tiger. It was my first real exp party since I've been back and it felt good.

About an hour in, I got disconnected. When I was able to log back in, I was greeted by a pile of dead bodies.

I apologized to the group and began to Raise everyone. There were some less-than-pleasant remarks made by our BLM about me d/c-ing, and after I rested up we began again.

About 20 min later I notice no one is moving. I quick glance to the top-right corner of my screen let me know I was disconnecting again. Balls.

It took me about 10 min to get back and this time my party was much less forgiving. After Raising everyone again I was informed I was no longer allowed in the group. My memory is a little fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure it went exactly like this:

Leader: Yeah... WTF?
Pasquale: Guys, I'm really sorry. I told you when we started my connection was shitty today. Let's just start up again?
Dragoon: Hell no. Fuck you and your connection.
Black Mage: Fuck you.
Pasquale: {Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass}
Black Mage: Fuck you.
Tank: Guys let's just start again...
Pasquale: That's quite a vocabulary you've got there.
Leader: No, fuck Pasq, he's a fucking dick. He's gone.
Black Mage: Fuck you.
/blist Black Mage

At this point I was kicked from the party. I called my chocobo and went back to Whitegate to seek for another group.

Twenty-five minutes later I get a /tell:
Leader from before: {Party}?

I decided it was best to ignore it.

Leader from before: Ummm... {Party}?
Pasquale: You can't possibly be this stupid.

There was a pause. I could picture the puzzled look on his face.

Leader from before: WTF?
Pasquale: You just kicked me out of your party half an hour ago. Bad connection? {Death} everywhere?
Leader from before: Oh
Leader from before: Fuck you.

I decided I'd had enough and logged for a bit. When I came back on, I threw up my flag and waited patiently for an invite.

Leader from before, for a remarkable third time: {Party}?

Nothing ever changes.

So I spent the last few days getting reacquainted with FFXI. I know I wasn't gone that long, but in my absence, I played another MMO, and had a different set of controls flowing through my fingers.

I spent my first two days back leveling my WAR. Neville with his 12 blm and me with my 12 war set out to Ghelsba Outpost to kill mass quantities of Orcs, who up until this weekend, I didn't really have a problem with.

After about an hour of merciless Orc-slaughter, Nev and I had both leveled. When I finally hit 13 (huge achievement, I know), I put on my new great sword. As if it were cursed, the great sword led me to a quick and painful death, followed by a delevel.

I haul ass back to where we were fighting and we start up again. I leveled in a few fights and once again equipped the cursed great sword. Sure enough, I was dead within two fights, causing me to delevel again.

Neville and I worked quickly to, once again, get me to level 13 and decided to call it quits because we both had to log. For some unknown reason, I equipped the great sword before I left the game. (I'm lying, the reason was because I look so damn cool with it on.)

Fast forward to the next day. ::Fast forward sounds::

I logged in yesterday and found my self on the business end of an Orc's spear. I smashed my Mighty Strikes macro and made quick work of the monster trying to end me. After this near death experience, I unequipped the great sword, because all doubt that it was cursed had left my mind.

While unequipping, three of the dead Orc's friends decided to come along and avenge their fallen comrade. I leapt into battle, hoping to at least take out one or two of them.

This probably could have been achieved had I equipped a weapon. After getting mauled mid-change, I got distracted and wasn't paying attention. Unfortunately, my little taru fists were no match for three giant stupid Jorcs (Jerk + orcs, oh yeah baby, I'm back) and I quickly died and deleveled, for a remarkable third time in two days.

Needing to shake the feeling of failure from my shoulders, I decided to switch to SMN and help out my linkshell with a Beadeaux Coffer. I figured we'd kill things for an hour and get it done, while having a good time and helping me get used to this new-fangled Dual Blood-Pact system for Summoners (which I friggin love).

Two and a half hours of battling Quadavs later and there was still no key drop. We were getting tired of killing these Jerk-davs (the hits don't stop coming). Morale was obviously dropping, but we pressed on, determined to get the drop. At around the three hour mark, my usual bad luck finally caught up with me.

I'm not sure if I was more upset that I had lost exp, or that I died looking like a pervert feeling up a passed out chick's leg at a party.

After we got out raises, I had to log. It took a total of five hours to get that coffer, and I'm pretty sure I speak for the whole group when I say Beadeaux is for jerks.

Earlier this weekend I was also in a party where the WAR and NIN got into a fight about who should be the tank, and a MNK who subbed THF, because of Gilfinder. It's good to be back.

Homecoming.

So I logged back on today for the first time in two months. I couldn't stay on long, but it was fun running around Windy and Jeuno and getting myself ready to start leveling again. A strange thing happened when I got back to my mog house...

Aaaaaaand we're back. No, seriously.

So, I quit a few months ago (two months ago. two.) and tried to find something to fill my time. After quitting, I started to post more on my website (www.superawesomecarnivalbears.net) which was good, and I also found myself with an abundance of free time, which was not as good as I thought it would be.

I tried going back to WoW, but I still don't really like it. I like PvP-ing (haha peeing) but other than that I find the game pretty boring. Another thing I didn't like was that I didn't really have any friends on, aside from my brothers, so I never had anyone to talk to, which sucked. (Except Nev, once in a blue moon when I would level my hunter.)

Anyways, yeah. No 'real' first post back, because I haven't actually logged into the game yet, so new post tomorrow or Saturday? I never uninstalled the game, which I may regret later, and I don't think I ever cancelled my content ID, which my checking account regrets now.

Shoot me a /tell if you see me on, let me know how you've been. I don't think I'll dive right into SMN again, until I get the WoW controls out of my hands and get the FFXI controls back in.

I wonder if Spiny's missed me while I was gone?

Unfinished Business.

I promised one last post. Here it is, Pasquale's last adventure.

Day One:

I logged in, forgetting that I had logged out in Garliage, trying to get my BLM hands done. As soon as I logged in, I found myself being raped by this giant black ooze thing, that was apparently guarding the door.

After being immediatly killed, I HP back to Jeuno. I didn't really mind, it's not like I need the exp anyways. (side note - I broke my record for time logged in before death. Things were still loading on the damn screen.)

I was planning on selling my things and sending gil to my friends in-game, sort of a 'thanks for being awesome, have some gil' thing. I ran to my MH to see if everything had sold.

When I got into my Mog House, I was greeted with a full delivery box. Unfortunatly it was full of items, and not gil. It's going to stay full now, because I am too lazy to try again. Sorry, I'm the worst friend ever. (side note - Honestly, It woulda been like 75k a piece, I'm hella broke.)

I switched to SMN and headed to catch the boat to Windurst one last time. As if the capt was waiting for me, the boat departed as soon as I touched the dock, thus causing me to wait for nine minutes. (side note - Damn you SE. Every fucking time...)

Nine minutes of waiting and three minutes of sailing later, I was ready for my final fight. I ran to my MH to take some screenshots of my sweet decorating abilities (I'm at work, I'll post those later) and headed to Saruta, to hunt my white whale.

For three hours I stick around his spawn area and commit heinous acts of crawlercide, hoping to lure him from hiding.

No such luck. It was as if he knew I was coming for him. Eventually, I got tired of waiting and I logged, angry and angry.

Day Two:

I log in and the first thing I see is a giant crawler head covering my screen. Could the son of a bitch have been waiting for me to return?

No. No he wasn't. It ended up being a regular crawler. I made him pay for getting my hopes up by 2-houring his {too weak} ass. Satisfaction guarenteed.

I sat to rest, when the real deal spawned behind me.

Pasquale -vs- Spiny Spipi; Round 11

I started to summon carbuncle, but I decided I wanted to kill this beast one-on-one. I took off my staff, and went into unarmed combat with the king of monsters.

The battle was intense.

Pasquale hits Spiny Spipi for 4 points of damage
Spiny Spipi hits Pasquale for 1 point of damage
Pasquale hits Spiny Spipi
Critical! Spiny Spipi takes 6 points of damage

I believe the word you're looking for is 'epic.'

Sooner or later (later. much later.) my TP hits 100%. I decided to put my staff back on and finish the job with one of my lame, low skill level staff weapon skills.

I forgot that switching weapons erases TP, and was left with nothing. (Give me a break, I'm all mage. I think I've used a WS'd maybe six times ever.)

Before I could see what was happenning, my staff has practically brought Spiny to his furry little knees.

I turned around so I wouldn't finish him. The kill shot had to be perfect.

I waited for his incredibly weak hits to fill up my TP. This took around 15 minutes.

1 man.
1 mob.
100% tp.

I spun in a blaze of glory and struck Spiny as hard as my Tarutaru arms could strike. After the dust settled, and the animation for my WS went away, I stood triumphantly over my fallen nemesis.

My heart stopped as I waited for the drops...

...

...

Pasquale obtains a Silk Thread.

...

...

/sigh

Well played Spiny, well played.

---
Thanks to everyone who read my blog, and thanks to my friend's in-game for making me want to play as long as I did. It's been awesome. Check out my website (www.superawsomecarnivalbears.net) if you wanted to read some other things I write.

Thanks again,
Pasquale (Jason)

The beginning of the end.

Hey all,

I've been thinking a lot about the game and I've decided to quit.

Lately the game has felt more like something I have to do, and not something I want to do.
I've been stuck at 58 for two weeks, and I have no motivation to keep going. I've found that I spend most of my free time in-game, and I really don't do anything else.

Thanks for reading my little blog. The comments and /tells always made my day, and I have made a few new friends because of it.

If you're interested, I write a blog/webcomic at www.superawesomecarnivalbears.net. I also write the Jason vs... section, which is going to get updated more often because of my new found free time.

I realize this is a shitty way to end the blog, so I am going to have one more post either Wednesday or Thursday. There is still one more thing I have to do before I quit...

Full of murderous rage.

There are not enough words in the English language to describe how much I hate Garliage Citadel. I could sit here and type word after word of how angry I am, but that'd be a waste of time. Everyone knows its the worst place in-game.

Ok, maybe just a few words.

Fuck you SE you $^&#$ jerks. Good fucking plan putting doors throughout the place, making it completely unaccessible to anyone, unless there are people there. (Strange how I couldn't type 'Fuck' twice in that sentence. I'm retarted.)
This is a screen shot of a giant pot thing, that aggro'd me, while I was trying to Raise someone. Needless to say, it ended me, and I was stuck there for a while til I got a raise for myself.

The reason I'm so angry, is that the only reason I'm there is to get my BLM af hands, so I can get my SMN af hands. I made the mistake of flagging my BLM hands, thus totally boning me.

Rargh.

Ok, that's enough of that.

In other news, seeking blows.

You know when you've been seeking for like two hours, and you finally get an invite? It's a good feeling. Finally you can accomplish something. You peel the cobwebs off your mouse and click "Accept."

Then, at the peak of your excitement, you find out there is only one other person in your party.
"It's ok," you think, "it should be full soon enough."

That's the thought that keeps you warm, and prevents your breakdown. That warm feeling helps when you are waiting 20+ minutes for the party to fill up. Each invite sent makes you smile a little bit.

>> Dude, sorry. It doesn't look like we're going to be able to party.

And that's the thought that crushes your dreams. Your dreams of finally hitting 59 (What? I aim low, as to prevent further disappointment.) That's when you realize not only have you wasted 2 hours seeking, but now you've also spent 30 minutes filling yourself with hope, and having your hope torn away, in a flash of purple letters.

After that happens, you think to yourself "Hmm. Maybe I'll try to get that coffer done."

Livin' the dream.

Hey all,

I felt a lot better after posting yesterday. I think I just needed to rant a little. I had some time to play yesterday, and now I have a real update for today.

Yesterday, I was seeking in Whitegate. That's neither new or exciting, everyone does that every day. While seeking, I killed time by talking to someone about our mutual hatred for Goblins, and to a SMN about Diabolos. In the middle of our conversations, I get a /tell, and my night began.

>> {Party} {Do you need it?}

I reply with a polite 'yes, thanks' and I'm on my way to meet them at the AH. Normally, after I accept an invite, I get a /tell stating that I had to be Main Heal. This time was a little different.

>> Hey, is it cool if you DD? we already have a WHM.

Never if my tenure (I'm not sure if that's the word I'm looking for) as a smn have I been asked that question. This was every summoner's dream.

I replied yes, (I went a little crazy with the exclamation points, I'm so very lame) and we headed to Gustav.

On the way, I started thinking what Blood Pacts I was going to use. Currently, Meteorite was the most consistent, but Double Slap did more damage, when it hit.

I decided to open with Double Slap and go from there. Our RNG pulls a goblin, who is followed to our camp by his close friend, another goblin.

20 minutes later, our party is triumphant, although battered and broken. Our poor whm lay dead in a corner, and no one had any MP left. Bad start, but it was cool, we were going to keep going.

Finally our RNG pulls just one gob and the fun begins. The BLM uses Bio II, and I used Double Slap.

Shiva uses Double Slap
Goblin takes 16 points of damage

Balls.

It turns out I'm a horrible DD. I found myself wishing the whm would leave, so I could take over as main heal, where I'd feel considerably less useless.

Shake it off man, shake it off. A minute is up, and it's time for something new.

Carbuncle uses Meteorite
Goblin takes 120 points of damage

Damnit.

At this rate, the Goblin will be dead next week.

Eight years pass, and the goblin is finally dead. There was little rejoicing. The next gob went considerably better, although still not great.

Carbuncle uses Meteorite
Goblin takes 360 points of damage

As if fearing the beating he would get from me when we got back to our Mog House, Carbuncle stepped it up and delivered for the rest of the night. I put my rolled up newspaper away and let him do his thing.

I was so close to hitting 59, that I let myself get excited. As soon as the 'giddy' hit, my party disbanded, leaving me so very alone, and so very angry.

Feeling totally jived, I went to level BeastMaster for a little while.

I am so bad at BST, that I could make even the proudest BST embarrassed for his job, as they saw me failing charms and running or crying.

Sometimes both.

Usually both.

Overkill.

Hey all,

As you may have noticed, there has been some serious not-updating going on. I'm sorry 'bout that, and come Monday, things should be back to normal.

There is some shit going down at my place of employment, involving a takeover of the hostile variety, and apparently its bugging me more than I thought. Everyone here is very 'worst case scenario' about the whole thing and its starting to get to me. I guess the guy whose trying to buy us out is total prick, and has a habit of slimming down his companies, which would mean our hero would become very unemployed, very quickly.

Anyways, all this stress and extra work has given me little time to play, thus giving me little to update with.

I plan on spending a nice sized chunk of this weekend hitting 60 with my smn. I'll see you all Monday, with a new update.

Thanks for reading.
-Pas

Totally Staged.

So today, I was planning on getting the Staging Points, which meant a lot of unsafe travel. Luckily, I had registered Shadow Wing, my handi-capable chocobo, and that meant less running.

I decided to start with the Mamool Ja Staging Point. No real reason, I just figured I had to start somewhere.

After calling Shadow Wing, and practically crawling through Wajaom, I was excited to be in Mamook. The Mamool look really cool, despite the fact that I would be one-shotted, should I decide to start some shit.

After walking around the area for a while, I came upon some Visquous Liquid. (I butchered that one, I know.)

{Hmm.} A strange thing in an unfamiliar zone full of mobs that could eat me in one bite. Sounds good to me.

I flinched, as I expected instant death, but was pleasently suprised when I re-opened my eyes:

Yeah. That's me, in what i can only assume is a Halloween costume.

I ran around, disguised as a rejected Ninja Turtle, for a little while, until I accidently clicked it off.

...Accidently clicked it off while I was surrounded by these huge Rhino/Elephant things. Needless to say, all kinds of death immediatly followed.

Death Count: 1

Luckily I had Reraise up.

Oh wait...

As soon as I foolishly Reraised myself, my soul was immediatly re-sent to hell.

Death Count: 2

I home-pointed back to Whitegate, picked up a map, and headed out, determined to succeed this time. Once again I called Shadow Wing, and off I went.

Armed with a map, I was able to get a little farther in. Then Invis started to wear.

I ducked in a corner and began re-casting Invisible on myself. Unfortunatly, I didn't look both ways.

Death Count: 3 (morale dropping)

Good news for me though, Reraise was up again.

Death Count: 4

Back in Whitegate. One last try. Shadow Wing seemed slower this time, as if warning me to stay away.

This time I make it all the way to the Bhaflau Thicket zone, which is where I think I'm supposed to go before zoning back into Mamook.

Much to my dismay, I am blocked by a big door. A door which required a key to open. A key which I did not posess.

I decide to cast a spell on a mob past the door, so he can open it for me, and I can run through. It was a good plan.

It was a horrible plan. I cast Dia on the Mamool Something-or-other, and eagerly awaited the door to be opened.

Instead, that son of a bitch killed me through the door, thus ruining my plan entirely.

Death Count: 5 (here I finally de-leveled)

I decided to give up and help a LS member get a key in Garliage. We killed for a while, but no drop. It wasn't a total loss, however:

That was my first 4-digit attack, ever. Granted it was against {Easy prey}, but I thought it was pretty fucking sweet.

Little bit of...

So I had a few ideas about what to post today, some good and some less good, so instead of just making two posts, I've decided to cram it into one post. Its 5am, I got two hours of sleep before waking up and being unable to go back to sleep, so I apologize if my spelling/grammar isn't up to par.

brb {bio}

Back. Here goes:

Dear Paladins,
There's this bar, under your HP bar. It's kinda yellowish/green. That's where your MP goes. MP can be used to heal yourself, so I don't have to spam cures on you and burn my own MP.

I know, I know. I have 900+ MP (p.s. im awesome) why do I care about curing so much? I've gotten used to main healing. I prefer PLD because it makes my job easier, unless hes not doing anything, then it gets harder and more annoying.

Mmmm... Delicious.
Food + exp party = Good Times. Food + Colibris = Bad Times. Colibris are like the Hamburglars of ffxi. You're stupid, and having 5 min of "totally awesome accuracy" or "zomg defense" can't be worth the gil you lost, losing food 15 times.

The Boyhoda Tree.
I love you again. Two days ago, we were waist deep (head deep for tarutaru) in linked spiders, which sucked tremendously. Yesterday, we practically bathed in experience points.

AF coffers.
Ok, why can't all the AF quests be NM battles? That's both fun and easy. No one likes farming a key and hunting down a chest while competing with nine-hundred other people.

Also, thanks to SE for making me have to finish my already started BLM hands before I can get my SMN hands. Garliage Citadel is the worst place for coffers and I hate you for wasting my time.

Ok, that's about enough of that. Here's some screenshots of stuff. (Descriptive, I know.)

55% of my playtime is spent seeking. Also, I look like a badass in this shot.















If 55% is spent seeking, 20% is spent eating dirt.















Goblin Coifs are cool. I don't have one, so here I am rocking the next best thing.















The first thing I get asked in every party is wether or not I have Fenrir. No I don't, but not for lack of trying.

Why I don't play with myself.

I hate seeking. Although I have had some pretty good conversations while seeking, it still ultimitely feels like a waste of time. I often get asked why I don't just solo as Summoner.

I can tell you right now why I don't solo. I'm lazy. And scared. ...Aaand scared. I tried soloing once, two weeks ago, and it was most disastrous.

::flashback music::

After seeking for two hours (grumble) I decided to try to give soloing a chance. I was just high enough to get free Carbuncle, and figured it would be a good way to earn exp while waiting for an invite.

I headed over to Garliage Citadel to fight some bomb type mobs. I had never solo'd like this before, but I had read a guide online on how to do it. (Lies. Replace 'read' with 'thought about looking up.')

I didn't think it would be very difficult:
1 - Summon Carbuncle
2 - Make Carby fight Bomb
3 - Run away
4 - Bomb blows up
5 - Bathe in a tub of experience points

In reality, it was more like this:
1 - Get aggro
2 - Hastily summon Carbuncle
3 - Fail
4 - Summon Light Spirit
5 - Run to zone, crying the whole way there
6 - Repeat three fucking times.

After finally getting the hang of it, I was able to get to a safe spot, and begin my soloing adventure.

I sent Carbuncle in to attack a Bomb, and I sat back and watched. Carbuncle eventually died, and I sent in another one.

Blah blah, this happened until the Bomb-thing Self-Destructed. For some reason it didn't occur to me that I may have been too close for comfort.

Bomb-thing uses Self-Destruct
Carbuncle takes a lot of damage
Pasquale also takes a lot of damage

I'm not gonna lie to you, that killed me. Luckily I had reraise on. Unluckily, I did not see the beetle behind me.

I think you know what happened next.

Pasquale starts casting Cure II
Beetle sneaks up behind Pasquale
Beetle uses Spawn-Kill
Beetle defeats Pasquale, and walks away, triumphantly

Argh. After someone in my ls found me a raise, I was determined to succeed at least once before logging and killing myself.

I found another bomb mob and sent Carby in. I ran the fuck away and did it right. Eventually the bomb blew itself and Carbuncle up, and I got 70 exp for it. Woo.

My celebration was cut short when I got aggro'd by that same fucking beetle, who had been waiting in the shadows for me to put my guard down.

Needless to say, I didn't make it.

I changed my Search Comment to reflect my newer, higher 'tnl' and went looking for another bomb.

After sending Carby in and waiting a few min, I was worried something was wrong. Normally I would have recast Carbuncle by now, and have moved to a new spot. Foolishly, I decided to 'take a peek' around the corner to see what was happening.

Just as I got there, Carby died, and the very much undamaged Bomb was charging for me.

Balls.

I throw up a Light Spirit to hold hate and I make a bolt for the stairs, hoping to somehow make it to the zone.

As I approched the stairway to heaven, I was met with a familiar face.

That same fucking beetle.

I already had very little HP left, from the Bomb's first assault on my face, so the beetle made short work of me.

After going back to my HomePoint, I decided to log. I had spent the night losing more exp than I could count, and just wanted to go to bed.

Pasquale will logout in 20 seconds
Pasquale will logout in 15 seconds
Pasquale will logout in 10 seconds
Pasquale will logout in 5 seconds
Player>> {Party} {Do you need it?}

Spiny strikes back.

I had a pretty lousy week on smn last week. I started the week at 53, peaked at 54, and fell back down to 53, after seeking for three hours. Needless to say I was bummed out. After not being able to play this week, due to drinking and recreating my website (www.superawesomecarnivalbears.net), I finally logged on last night, looking for a change.

I'm not saying I quit smn, I just wanted to try something else, til I got that loving feeling back. After tending to my Choco, who lost his second race, and was scolded harshly for it, I went to my MH to change jobs. After spending a few min looking at my job levels, I went with Puppetmaster, because I felt I had unfairly judged it as the worst job ever.

At the brisk level of 6, Allouette (my puppet, with a name I regret choosing) and I grinded our way to level nine, and were innocently camped around the area where My arch nemesis Spiny Spipi resides.

After an epic battle with two dec goblins, I sat down to rest. Suddenly, lurking through the shadows came the demon who has haunted me since week 1.


Pasquale -vs- Spiny Spipi; Round 10

I spun the camera around to make sure I was alone, and rested to full. I stood up, and sent Allouette into battle. I immediatly used my 2-hour, and our battle began.

Pasquale uses Overdrive.
Something happens to Allouette.
Pasquale has no idea what the 2-hour does.

I assume it did something, because Allouette didn't die right away. After Spiny was down a little bit, I jumped into the battle, a flurry of fists flying to the face of my ferocious foe.

It was close, but victory appeared to be at hand for our hero. Just then, I noticed a 45thf/nin standing behind me, like a vulture watching over his prey. He sends me a /tell telling me not to call for help when I died. Motivating.

I wasn't worried about death, because Allouette and I were winning.

Were being the key word in that sentance. We were winning, until a Goblin Weaver decided to step in.

When the gobby spawned, I hoped the thf would take care of it, in a gesture of kindness. Then, as the gob ran past the thf, unharmed, I was reminded that too many people in this game were jerks, and that no one likes helping other people during NM battles.

Goblin Jackass casts Dia.

This was great, because I wasn't losing enough health from Spiny's poison and all the head-butts the bastard was slamming me with.

Goblin Weaver hits Pasquale.
Spiny Spipi mauls Pasquale.
Goblin Weaver crushes Pasquale.
Spiny Spipi maims Pasquale.
Goblin Weaver shanks Pasquale.

Things looked grim for our hero. After a " :( " from the thf, he kills the goblin as I fall to the ground, and then proceeds to take Spiny away from me.

I HP'd to Windurst, feeling an umpleasent mix of anger and anger and disapointment. Reluctantly, I ran back to Saruta, determined to hit lvl 10 before I logged. I ran into the thf while I was killing Giant Bees. Trying to kill Giant Bees, as he ended up taking most of them, including ones I was about to fight.

You win this round, Spiny Spipi. Enjoy your first and only victory, for it will be a cold day in Ifrit's Cauldron before I fall to you again.

Hate me today.

First things first, you may have noticed the awwwwwwwesome new header at the top of the page. Thanks to Elpon for making that. It took me an hour of 'guess and check' to get it to fit and to make the title still visible, but it was worth it. (Shut up, I'm not a computerologist.)

As the title would suggest, today's discussion is about hate and how much I hate (note to self, get thesaurus) getting hate (note to self, read previous note).

I honestly have no problem Main Healing when I'm in a party. If it means I'll get exp then I'll do almost anything. I do, however, have a problem with getting pecked to death by birds furious that I stole their Fuit Loops - The Lesser Colibri.

Everyone loves these things because they usually go down quick and they give great exp, which is why the party I joined decided to fight them for a while, hopefully hitting levels 54 and 55 in the process.

That's all well and good, but for some reason our NIN could not keep hate last night, which caused me to suffer immensely. The hate was bouncing from the NIN to the RNG to the MNK like crazy, causing me to Cure II everyone, causing the Colibri to hate me, leading to my inevitable beak-stabbing.

As a Taru SMN, I have about 400hp at my level. After the first hit blew through Stoneskin, I knew I was boned.

Lesser Colibri hits Pasquale
Pasquale takes 24 points of damage. <----- Stoneskin wears
Lesser Colibri hits Pasquale
Pasquale takes 180 points of damage.
Lesser Colibri hits Pasquale again, this time with gusto.
The Lesser Colibri scores a critical hit!
Pasquale takes a million points of damage.

Finally someone vokes, and i have 14 hp left. I wanted to heal myself, but I was afraid of the Colibri coming back to finish the job, so I sat there and waited until it was over.

10 minutes later. What can I say, it was a slow night.

The moral of the story is to stop sucking and learn to keep hate. I couldn't even drop a Cure II without getting mauled by Toucan Sam.

Way too long.

I wanted to try something new for yesterday's update (which is this update, despite the fact that today is, in fact, today, and very much not yesterday). After spending some time thinking what to do, I (obviously) came up with nothing. I blame not being at work for Labor Day. I always write these things at work, so I can kill two birds with one stone. One bird being the update, and the other bird being finding a way to not do work. Anyways, here the worst poem ever written, about missing the Airship. Enjoy?

Way too long by Pasquale

I log in and check my bird.
The Stables chick says not a word.
Nothing has changed since the night before last,
And frankly, this bird is a pain in the ass.

Dejectedly I sigh, and off I go,
To catch the Airship, and fly to Jeuno.
I zone into Port and what do I see?
The airship is docked, and waiting for me.

As I approached the dock,
I am frozen with shock.
For the Airship, who I thought was waiting for me,
Turned out to be nothing but a tease.

I grumble in anger, and turn on the tv,
It's Pimp My Ride, with X-to-the-Z.
I sigh out loud, disappointed and sad.
At least the nine minutes won't be so bad.

The end.

Yeah, the rhymes are a stretch, but cut me some slack, I didn't have a lot of time, my boss won't get off my back.

What a load of craft.

Ever since I got FFxi, I knew I was going to be a Summoner. I thought the idea of controlling avatars was awesome, and that it would make me kick more forms of ass than anyone else. Then I started to play SMN and ...well you know. SMN is less than exciting when you only have Carbuncle, and your only party function is to heal and heal some more.

I was excited when I finally hit 20. That meant I could finally fight the elemental avatars and be a badass, like the summoners you see running around, being awesome.

Despite taking more time than i'd care to admit, I got it done. I was awesome again. My next goal was to hit 50, get the Austere set, and look like a homeless badass. I accomplished this goal a week ago, and spent most of my gil buying the Austere Robe, Gloves, and Boots. I didn't think the pants were worth 500k, despite the fact that I am wearing pants that are lvl 29. ::Cough::


But there was no hat in stock. I would check the AH three times a day but I always seemed to miss the one hat sold that day. Desperate, I decided to buy the materials needed and have someone craft my own hat. I managed to get everything but a Velvet Hat in Jeuno, so I took a field trip to Windy to check the AH there.

Nothing.

Bastok was next on my list.

Nothing. I was starting to get worried.

Finally I checked San D'Oria (spelling?) and was yet again dissapointed. I don't know what I was expecting though, Sandy sucks.

So here I was with four-fifths of the materials needed for my own hat. I decided to go one step further and have a Velvet hat crafted.

I head back to Windy and pick up everything I need for a Velvet hat. While on the boat to Jeuno, I noticed someone ClothCrafting, and as luck would have it, she could craft the Velvet hat for me. Yay.

With my shiny new hat in hand, I tried to seek out a Leathercrafter. I want to thank QCDN's crafter list, because that made my search a whole lot easier.

I met FoxFlower in Sandy and she crafted my hat for me. {Excitement} all around. I don't think I've ever used so many /emotes at one time. I put it on and off I went, to show off my awesomeness.

After I logged, I did a some calculations on what my Austere Hat finally cost me. With material costs, travel costs, and tips for both crafters, my total came up to 250,000gil. The Austere Hat sells in the AH for roughly 30,000gil.

This picture to the right represents how much gil I have left.

Kentucky Fried Chocobo. Not my joke, but meh.

First off, congratulations to all the new mommys and daddys out there.

This, of course, is referring to the new Chocobo raising update from last week, and all the little chocobos that have been hatched since then. I'm sure you've all seen a wide assortment of names, including hilarious ones like EasyLady or CoqUranus, and more serious ones like SilentThunder or TalonStrike. I went with ShadowWing, a name that sounds cool now, but I'm sure after saying it six or seven more times, I'll think it's lame.

While its fun to 'walk' ShadowWing (7) around, and stuff greens down his little throat, waiting for him to hatch was not fun.

I was sitting in the Windurst Chocobo-Getting place, waiting and wishing (hi Jack Johnson. Sigh.) for my egg to finally hatch. Everyone around me was /cheering and /shouting about how great it was, and that everyone who didn't have a baby chocobo was a huge jerkface. (Ok, not really, but their /cheers of /joy made me /sad.)

I decided to take things into my own hands. I switched to whm, and equipped my most hammer-like club. My plan was to smash the egg, and heal the chocobo, before he died. It was a pretty solid plan.

Fortunatly for ShadowWing (6), my egg hatched before I got the chance to smashy-smashy. Out came this tiny bird, with yellow feathers, and huge, creepy eyes. I immediatly teird to feed him, but he had came out of the egg full, which leads me to believe that he ate his twin, who was obviously also in the egg.

If I said it only took me a few minutes to name ShadowWing (5), I would be a huge liarface. I spent about an hour staring at the name lists, yelling suggestions to my brother, asking for advice. He was busy sleeping, so his advice was less than helpful.

I decided on ShadowWing (4) and immediatly wanted to go for a walk. A walk ended up being a cutscene of ShadowWing (3) and I walking. Awesome.

After three walks around East Sarutabaruta, I put him to sleep and went to level my WHM in Yhoator Jungle, which as far as I'm concerned, is the new Dunes. But that's another update for another time.

P.S. After writing this, I'm down to two more times using ShadowWing's (2) name before I get sick of it.

P.P.S. Damnit.

The following is a paid advertisement for Michael Bay.

I don't really have time for an update for today, so I'm recycling something I made over a year ago, when I first found out there was going to be a new Transformers movie. I normally don't like re-using old stuff, but I figure its going to be new to you. Here's my version of the new Transformers movie, made while I was at work, using nothing but tape and a nut.


So one day, Optimus Prime was driving around, minding his own business...















Out of nowhere comes Starscream! ::dramatic music::















TRANSFORM! ::cool robot sound effects::















There is a brief scuffle. ::snazzy action music::















Optimus Prime kicks Starscream's ass. ::triumphant music::















The end.

See you Monday, with a real FFXI-related post.

I uh... yeah.

First things first, I did not get to see Snakes on a Plane this weekend. I was busy (drunk) all Saturday, and waaaaaaay to hung over yesterday to bother doing anything. So instead, here's a story, about a blm, in the Dunes. A blm I would very much like to punch in the face.

I know that being in Valkrum Dunes means that there is no one with any intellegence for three zones, but this pretty much blew my mind.

It had already been a lousy day of partying in the Dunes. We had three tanks level and leave, anxious to start leveling their subs, regardless of how boned the party would be. Everyone was a total assface and left without any warning or replacement, so the first party disbanded. I wasn't too concerned, as I was leveling whm and everyone loves whms.

Forty-five minutes later.

Just as I began contemplating suicide, I get an invite to replace a rdm. Happily I accept, and off I went. I checked the party setup, and it seemed pretty solid, but something seemed off...

whm/blm <-- our hero pld/war sam/war blm/pld war/nin drk/war Do you see it? I have to admit, I missed it at first glance. Here it is again, in case you did too. blm/pld

Not only was this foolish blm subbing pld, but his sub was level fucking 1. I shoot him a /tell to see what's up.

Pasquale: Um. Hey.
blm/pld: Yo.
Pasquale: Sooo... blm/pld huh?
blm/pld: Yeah.
Pasquale: How's that workin' out for ya?
blm/pld: It's awesome, I'm pretty sure I get a fuck-ton of extra def.

'I'm pretty sure I get a fuck-ton of extra def.' A single tear dropped down my cheek.

Pasquale: Um, I'm no expert, but i don't think you get anything when your sub is level 1.
blm/pld: I get a few more HP and some def. That's what I need most.
Pasquale: That's funny, I would think MP would be what a blm needs most.
blm/pld: I have plenty of MP.

Lies. He was a fucking Elvaan. He needed all the MP he could get.

We start fighting and sure enough, he had to rest after every kill. A little while later we started fighting a very angry goblin. This guy was built like a tank and would not go down. And despite having a 'fuck-ton of extra def' the blm/pld was killed, after just one bomb.

The moral of the story is that you should always think before choosing a sub-job. If at any time, you consider something like this guy did, save everyone the trouble and murder yourself in the most horrible way possible to you at the time. Also, for fuck's sake, keep your subs leveled, you lazy piece of crap.

Not you, him.

I totally Dirged while playing this game.

Today's post is a review of Dirge of Cerberus, the new Final Fantasy VII title starring Vincent 'the badass' Valentine. I picked this game up when it came out Tuesday, and finished it last night. Also, I'm not 100% on what Dirge means, so I'm gonna use it for everything.

If I were asked to describe this game, I would say it was as if Resident Evil and Devil May Cry got together and had a baby, and that baby had autism.

Let's start with visuals, as this is usually one of Square's strong points. The CutScenes looked amazing, which is nothing suprising. Some clips looked like they were pulled straight out of Advent Children. Literally. I'm almost positive that shit with Cloud was stock footage. Even during the actual game it looked dirge (for a ps2 game) and for the most part it held. I had exactly two spots in the entire game where it started to get choppy, but that was fixed when the next CS started.

Also, each CS was like watching a 20 min television show with no commercials. (Lies. Whenever Yuffie of Cait Sith was on screen, it was a commercial for me, as I usually left the room to do something less dirgey.) There was one point where I went 45 min w/o shooting anything. The visuals gets 4 out of 5 luke skywalker action figures.

The controls and camera angles were not too bad. It took a while to get used to them, but once you do, it gets pretty easy. They have a Tutorial which I would recommend, because it helps with everything. I didn't really have any major issues with either. The camera can be moved by you with ease, so I never had an issue of not being able to see anything. Controls and camera get 3.5 out of 5 luke skywalker action figures.

I think the gameplay left much to be desired. It was fun shooting things, running, shooting things, jumping, and shooting things, but sometimes you need more. Yeah, there was a melee attack, but it sucked. There was only one real combo and if you started it and missed, you had to finish it missing, as you could not turn mid-punch, which sucked. The 'dodge' button took you out of 'aiming mode,' which made it inconvienent to use. (Not that you had to ever, but still.)

The enemy AI ranged from disabled child to cheating piece of shit. Some guys you could shoot at, miss, reload, fire again, miss, fire one more time, and kill without them even noticing you. Others seemed to be able to hear you dirge, and always knew exactly where you were at. The rocket launcher guys were cheating whores. They would shoot you with a rocket, and then just as you were getting up, shoot you again, thus making it impossible to get up without some dirge.

Hmm. What else? You could only hold a very limited amount of potions and such, which meant frequent stops at the 'jukebox' (for some reason) stores located pretty much everywhere. The 'pheonix down' was dirge, but it made you pretty much un-killable. The game itself was pretty linear, but if you went off the path, you were usually rewarded with gil or a new weapon or something to that effect. There were these hidden vials all over the dirge which apparently unlock some of the 'extra features.' Things like Side Missions, Art Galleries, etc, most of which you'll never dirge.

The best part of the gameplay was the gun customizing. You could pretty much dirge any type of gun with your parts. You could make things like a long barrel pistol (slow, but powerful) and short barrel rifle (useless, but useless) to name a few. The add-ons were pretty awesome, and upgrading them made you a badass.

At the end of a level, after 20 min of cutscene, but before 20 more min of cutscene, you are given a choice to use your exp to make Vincent dirge-ier, or trade it in for a ton of gil. Gun parts are expensive, so I usually gave it to gil. I didn't need HP, the bosses were a joke. Gameplay gets 3 out of 5 luke skywalker action figures.

I know there are more areas a person usually reviews games on but I'm tired of typing. One last thing: Worst final boss fight ever. (Lies. Second worst boss fight ever. F.E.A.R. didn't have a boss, which pissed me off. I like an end boss, it gives me dirge.) The last boss in DoC sucked. I don't think I got hit once, and I didn't even have to be evasive. I just ran in a circle and shot him for 10 min. Boss fights get 1 out of 5 luke skywalker action figure's leg, as they don't deserve the whole figure.

Everyone else from VII makes cameo appearences, except Yuffie and Cait Sith, who are both major players in DoC. Yuffie and Cait Sith. Yeah. You spend the whole game with two of VII's brightest stars, and you actualy have to play as Cait Sith for one level. I was pretty much ready to dirge my ps2 out the window.

In conclusion, rent the game. I am gonna play it on the creativley titled 'Ex-Hard' mode, and hope a game comes out of it.

Dirge of Cerberus gets 3 out of 5 luke skywalker action figures. It was ok, but i liked it better when it was called Devil May Cry.